Good times

My girlies!!! I miss ya'll.....I hope we hang out soon!!

_V

testing the waters

Most people seem so sure about themselves, confident. So sure in what they want out of life, so sure in their next move. I, myself, am never sure, never quite aware of where to place my feet. Timid and afraid to leave the spot where I stand. So for now, I am going to test the waters. Take baby steps, for we all have to learn to walk before we can run. And hopefully in time I will jump in and just let the currents take me to wherever they lead.
_V

so

there is this guy...I am kinda into him. I want to give him my number,but I am not sure what his true intentions are. so maybe if he lets me know what those intentions are, maybe he can get some digits....maybe

Pondering

If happiness is all I ever wish for, Why is it that I can not commit to what would make me happy? Why do I insist on making my own life more difficult than it already is? I am so complicated
_V

Its Friday

And I am home alone. Left to my own vices and things are weighing heavy on my mind. I just want to get out of here and forget everything. I hope someone calls me soon cause I am about to loose it._V

It is late

And I am still awake. Anyways, I just wanted to let everyone know that I will be posting blogs on myspace again, but I will still have this one too. I believe that they will have the same post. I find that I have readers on there too and might as well give them something to read. so yeah, no changes to this one. just in case anyone was wondering. well I am off to bed. night
_V

Directions would be nice

I feel as if I am coming to crossroads, and I am not going to know which way to turn. One way can be perfection and the other is unknown but could be great too. I hate not knowing what is going to happen, but I guess that is the fun in life. _V

Question??????????????????

Do good things truly come, to those who wait??????????
_v

valentines day

turned out better than I thought. I went to my cousins wedding which was downtown at the Mass wedding. That was interesting because there was a lot of different couples wearing different outfits. This one bride was wearing a ballerina tutu, lol. Then later that day, I spent the day hanging with my friends and got dared to do shots. That was fun. My friends can be such bed influences sometimes, but I love them none the less.What a good day
_V

blurb

Sk8R boys will always have a place in my heart................Oh NO! ♥ ???
_V

Father and Son

I can hear my brother in the other room. He is having an argument with his girlfriend. He gets so angry over nothing. And has the worst temper, he needs to chill before he busts a vein in his head or something.Can we say anger management. But anyways, it is funny to me in that he sounds exactly like my father. This brings up memories of when my father used to live with us. When he used to fight with my mom. Not good times, but I don't want to go there. So I'll just have a good laugh._V

What good is crying?

On days like this, when things are really down. I find myself using different crutches to get through the day. Whether it be going to sleep or taking that extra shot of alcohol, or whatever it may be; I know this is not good. What is wrong with me? And why cant i deal like a normal person? Some days i just don't know.
_V

lets jump

With each passing day, I become more brave. I am becoming very comfortable and I don't know if it is a good or a bad thing. My will power to keep saying no is wearing very thin and that scares me. But honestly, I can't help what I feel and you know how that can be. This is jumping into the unknown for me so yeah, don't know where I am going with this rant.
_V

Blurb

People that are BAD................................................. should be punished. LOL!

_V

2012

They say that the world is coming to an end on December 21, 2012. Frankly, I don't believe that, but just in case, I thought I'd make a list of things to do before I die. These things don't have to be done in any kind of order. 2012 is not that far from now, I best get to work.....

1. To torch the v-card
2. To go to culinary school
3. Get my licence
4. Have a baby
5. Write that one story I have been meaning to write
6. Get out of Texas for a bit
7. Taste that cherry chapstick ;)
8. truley speak my mind
9. Get really drunk and throw up...lol
10. Find love...where ever that may be
11. Find my muse
12. See a show on Brodway
13. Meet a celebrity
14. Where a bikini to a beach
15. Go on a roadtrip with the besties
16. See Linkin Park in concert
17. Do something crazy like skydive or something like that
18. LIVE more
19. LAUGH more
20. And above all, LOVE more

There is probably more to this list and if I think of more I'll add to it. Today is a gift and that is why we call it the present. So live it up.

_V

Yay! Party!

I didn't get that haircut after all, still want it but just didn't have the time to go. Maybe next weekend. So tonight should be fun, I am going to a little get together with all the friends.......Lots of laughs should be in the future.LOL!
_V

maybe

I think I might cut my hair today. I need something different. something new.

Blurb

I am totally looking into torching my v-card....any takers???

I can't help it

♥YOU make my heart flutter
♥YOU take my breath away
♥YOU above all make me happy

and I can't help it. Even when I want to. This is going to be the death of me...LOL
_V

i AM bored

So I have finally figured out what to write my first major paper on. I am so glad that I have got this one figured out. I am actually almost finished with it. yay!!!

_V

you didn't listen

**foward note**this is a letter to my little brother, jacob. I hope I can reach out to him before it is too late.

*also...I wrote this about a year ago and I had sent to him on myspace, just thought I would share with my readers on here*


Jacob,
I know you will probably think this is whack or whatever, but I am just trying to be real with you. I know that you are hurting inside, that many people have hurt you in your life and that maybe you feel like no one cares about you. But just know that I do care for you. You are my brother and I love you and I always will. You will forever be that little kid with the big head to me.
And about your anger, no one in our house deserves it. I am tired of feeling like I can't go home because all I have to go home to is a place of violence and hate. You really scare me sometimes. I understand that you are angry with this world, angry at mom, angry at dad, maybe even angry with me...but everyone gets mad, so just deal with it. Grow up and be an adult about it, cause punching the wall is childish and is not going to change anything. You need to understand that all this added stress in taking its toll on our family, and it is pulling us apart. All anyone truly has in this world is family. Who else do you have to fall back on...your friends??? Cause you will be lucky to find atleast one true friend in your life, but you will always have your family. It is a permanment bond, its blood.
And all these bad choices you are making right now. I know that you are smarter than that. Don't you know that what you do now effects your future. I know that you do not like school, but you should just go. Just get it over with and then you will never have to go to it again. And the drugs, I just don't get it. Thats not a smart choice on your behalf. Honestly you are better than that and you should want better for yourself. I know I want the best for you, and to be proud of you. I want you to graduate. I want you to achive all that you can and live a sucessfull life. But at the rate you are going now, all its leading to is to a life of crime and being in and out of jail. Is that what you want??? If so, keep on doing what you are doing.
I can't change who you are. And no matter what I say or do I know it probably won't change a thing, but I figured it was worth a try. Maybe one day you will see how it is and change for the better. I know you will. I have faith that you will. So just know that I do love you and that is why I wrote this.
With love, your big sis_Veronica

Time to walk into the unknown

So oddly, just now. I have gotten a strange sense of inspiration and creativity. I need to stop sulking and drowning in sorry. Feeling sorry for myself is not going to get me anywhere. I need to stop being afraid of everything and for once take risks. I'm sure if I fail, at least one person will be there to catch my dumb ass. Also I have finally realized that I have been wanting someone to baby me, take care of me; but no one has, or ever will do that for me. If I want anything, I will have to do it myself, just like always. So to my friends who have been listening to me bitch and moan about everything, I am sorry. I hope you didn't think I was throwing a pity party in hoping that you would feel sorry for me. And I am truly sorry if that is what I came across as. so, I am hoping that I will stay will this sudden burst of empowerment. I need it, I want it. I will be strong.
_V

I am sorry for being selfish

Yes, I know I can be a little ungrateful. I forget to be happy with what I have, no matter how small it may be. I know this is not a good thing, and it is just a bit selfish and unbecoming. But shouldn't I strive for more, want more??? Is that wrong??? I know I should just be happy being alive and somewhat well, but some days I am not. I can't be happy all the time, I can't pretend like certain things don't bother me. I am naturally a pessimistic person. I can't help if the very soul of my being believes that "what can go wrong , will go wrong". I can't help that. All I can do is wake up the next day and hope it will be better than the one before. I am trying.

_V

rough day

Today was an OK day. Kinda a downer.
A lot has been on my mind, and I am not sure who to turn to just yet. I need to get things straight in my head first.

*J*
Sweetie, don't be so vain. It has nothing to do with you. I am trying to tell you something very personal and somehow you don't get what I am saying and then on top of that you try to turn it around to make it about you. So pay attention, my patience is wearing thin.

*this afternoon: the words I couldn't speak*
I know I am selfish, but honestly I can't live my life without you. I don't want you to leave me, ever. I can't ask you to stay but you know how I feel. And if you must leave, its OK, I will learn to be OK. I love you and always will be here for you, even if you insist to be miles away.
Well that's all for today. With love as always_V

?I don't think I need a new addiction

*bad for your health*

Maybe I shouldn't.