So will I ever be happy?

I just realized, that I sabotage my own happiness. I think I am afraid, terrified, to be happy. When you spend your whole life miserable, that's all you know. And when you are away from that, its like you're lost. I know, Its dumb to not want happiness, I want it, I do. But it is just something I am not used to and I can finally see that I push my happiness away. I find some reason or some excuse to push it away. I really don't know why I do this, when all I ever wish for is to live my life happy. So when I realized this, I was like "that makes no sense". I am so complicated and strange, but one day I will figure it all out...hopefully
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Blurb

Blowing your nose in public is gross.

Just Got Home

Its 2:30 in the morning and I am wide awake jamming to LeATHERMOUTH, and writing up a character outline for my writing class. I have to say, this band is pretty cool, the singer is Frank lero from MCR. Their sound is so different from what I am used to but I am taking it in with an open mind. I have a feeling that this band is going to be BIG! So anyways, earlier I was like having the biggest hot-flash ever and now I am glad to report that I finally cooled down...lol. Well I better get to work on my outline.
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Blurb

Boys can be so gullible and easy to control.....my little puppets.

weirdy

My brother's girlfriend has been like living at my house off and on ever since my brother has gotten out of jail. She is so weird, she never even comes out of his room. She is like afraid to talk to any of us. And its not like we would hate her or anything, we(or at least I) could care less. The only problem I have with her is the fact that she eats all the food and does not help clean. It is kinda rude of her to use our stuff and return not help with anything. We even do her laundry. I don't see why my brother would want to be with her, she is a bum. An 18 year old high school drop-out, with no job or car. I know that I shouldn't be talking because I don't have a job either, but at least I go to school. I guess she makes him happy,so whatever. I just hope she starts helping out if she is going to be staying here. Is that rude of me to ask???
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The inevitable

As people grow, things change. We are constantly evolving, slowly morphing into the person we will die being. This change is inevitable, it can not be stopped. And wheather this "new" person is doing things that are different or maybe even contradicting the "old", we shouldn't judge. Because we all change and we all do things we swore we would never do. So yeah change is change, be it good or bad. If we make mistakes all we can do is learn from them.
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