Iss Dis Seexxii (is this sexy)

To add extra letters to words or to leave letters out all together. I see so many people type like that. Is that attractive or cool? Am I that old? Cause I just don't understand it. In my opinion its just a bit strange to me. Is it so hard to use the English language correctly?
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stuck in the middle

Im stuck in this place and I don't know who is right or wrong anymore...everything is so jumbled and I know I shouldn't even be apart of all of this, but its the enevitable for me to be in between. And the matter of picking sides...no one said it but me. I know even if it is not asked, it can't be stoped. I am the fucking latch-key kid between the two divorced parents. so yeah I don't know what to say or think anymore._V

My ending world pt.1

If you think that this only involves you and him, then you are wrong. I can go over everything in my head and I just don't understand where it went wrong. I replay our lives together and I just don't see it. Can you please explain to me in your own words. Give me a list, a memory, anything. I want to figure this out, for my sanity. I love you both with all my heart and I need to justify this ending. My heart is breaking and I am not ready to let you go.
_V

To knowing better

Life is not some silly game. I should have known from the beginning that all you were doing was playing. Maybe I played along , but when I said I cared, I was not lying. You took advantage of me. But I guess thats what I get for being a nice person. I should have known better...right? And I can't believe that you, out of all people, practically made it to my heart. You almost won. And when people wonder why I am so messed up. Why I can't trust, why I am afraid to speak.....I am going to say, because of people like you. I am over this, so do me a favor and erase my number, block me from your friends.....I don't exist for you.

_V

if this is goodbye

So I don't understand why you are not going to be my friend. I just want an explaination, a proper goodbye. If I did something wrong, tell me so that I can make amends...after all was said over these past weeks, I dont think a simple "bye" is enough. But if thats all that I am going to get, I guess I will learn to except that. And I guess I should say goodbye to you to. I really wish you the best in your life, and I hope that you get the help you need to keep moving on. And I hope you find the perfect one to make your life complete. And I hope you figure out that you are better than what you think you are, and that you should not strive any lower than the highest....Remember "TODAY is a gift...Thats why they call it the PRESENT"

With love and understanding_V

giving up

What do you say to someone that wants to give up on everything? "don't do it, don't jump" is that really enough to stop someone??? Like seriously, if their mind is truly made up, they are going to do what is set to do, no matter what is said or done. I can try and try again to change a mind, but a person has to want to change in order for a change to be made. My heart is sad to hear that you don't want to fight, and I can only try to help so much. I am not a miracle worker and can only say to you....Fight. I do it everyday and you should too
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moving on

I find myself afraid to move forward. I just realized that I subconsciously find little ways to hold myself back. I think it is a defence mechanism, of which I am not proud of. Do I really think that I need to be that protected? Seriously.....(note to self) JUST MOVE ON!!! Grow the hell up!
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good weekend

Words don't always come easy for me. Sometimes I just don't have the right thing to say. It doesn't mean that I don't care any less, it just means that I am at a lost for words

Anyways, this weekend was awesome. went to the movies on Friday with the best friends. We saw The Haunting in Connecticut....It was so scary, I cried a little..lol. Saturday was fun too, I just stayed home and chilled with the family. And Sunday was nice too. That was a productive day, I wrote my screenplay for my writing class and I am very proud of it.

As for today, it was not bad either. School was school like always, boring. But on the bright side I did not have writing class because it got cancelled.

So yeah thats a recap of this weekend

_v

"I hate u sometimes"

because I am not the little slut you want me to be
because I am not willing to give you the time of day
because I am not that girl

you hate me?

YOU hate me?

Because I have morals
Because I WILL NOT be that girl
Because I want an actual conversationBecause I am in charge
Because I do only what I want

Hate me.....Cause I WILL NOT HATE MYSELF
I refuse to..................I am not that person anymore.
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Awkward

Today I watched Steel Magnolias, it made me cry. But it made me remember that life is short, that it is a gift and that it should be cherished. I need to start living life to the fullest, cause in a moment it could be gone.

Also, I am not going to be drinking till the summer...or at least try. Its going to be hard, but hopefully I can be strong......so don't ask me to buy anything, If I can't drink it I am not going to buy it........Try to support me in this.

So, this weekend has been so awkward. I feel like everyone is tip-toeing around each other. Afraid to say what is really going on.....that's just my opinion though.....I just hope next week is better, because right now, I just feel sad.
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